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I still remember where I was standing when I saw the words.

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“Step one: Radical Honesty.”

​

My stomach dropped.

Everything in me went cold.

And before I could stop it, I whispered out loud:

“OH F$#K.”

​

We had just signed up for a sexual mastery and relationship recovery program — my wife’s idea.

This was 3 years ago.

After our first miscarriage.

After we lost something deeper: the feeling that we were still us.

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She wanted to feel close again.

I said yes because it seemed like the “right” thing to do.

What I didn’t know was that the first step would break me open.

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You see...

I had cheated on her.

At the very beginning of our relationship.

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It wasn’t just the act.

It was what I did with it afterward.

I told myself:

"It’s over."

"I learned."

"It doesn’t concern her."

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But that was a lie I wanted to believe — not a truth we could live in.

​

I buried it.

I performed devotion.

I thought time would make it irrelevant.

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But the body knows what the brain denies.

And so does the relationship.

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Over the years, I stopped cheating with people.

But I started cheating with porn.

With emotional distance.

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I told myself:

“At least I’m not going out there.”

But I wasn’t in here either.

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The truth I never wanted to admit was this:

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Keeping the secret was worse than the mistake.

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The lie became the quiet architect of our distance.

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Every touch had to pass through it.

Every silence felt slightly off.

Every “I love you” came with an aftertaste.

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And the worst part?

She didn’t know the details.

But she knew.

She always felt something was off.

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It’s kinda like when a foundation shifts — and the walls don’t crack for years.

​

But then one day, you look around and realize:

Everything’s a little warped.

Nothing sits quite right.

And you’ve been calling it “normal” for too long.

​

That was us.

Still married.

Still talking.

Still sharing a bed.

But emotionally living in separate timelines.

​

When I finally told her the truth — it broke us.

Not in a dramatic, throw-things way.

In a slow, soul-level collapse.

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The version of our marriage that was built on image and endurance couldn’t survive it.

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And that’s what had to die.

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So that something honest could live.

​

We grieved separately.

We rebuilt separately.

And somehow, through the pain, we found a way back to each other.

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But this time — nothing hidden.

Nothing shaped by fear.

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You might be holding something right now.

A truth you think is “in the past.”

Something you believe doesn’t matter anymore.

​

But it still lives in you.

It still shapes what you think you deserve.

It still echoes in your relationships — whether or not you speak it.

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And you don’t have to confess it to be worthy.

But you do have to stop pretending it never happened.

Because wholeness can’t live on top of secrets.

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If you’re carrying the collapse...

If there’s something you buried to protect someone else...

you’re not alone.

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This is the kind of medicine I serve inside my 1:1 Fresh Start program.

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Not advice.

Not steps.

Just space to finally tell the truth — and let it land.

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Reply "TRUTH" and I'll get you the details.

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You don’t have to keep holding this alone.

And you don’t have to stay lost to stay loved.

Blessings to you.

​

P.S.: My 6-week series "How to Attract & Keep the Secure Love You D.E.S.I.R.E." enters Week 5 - Reframing References on Thursday 5 PM CET (11 AM EST).

You can get the ticket for 60€ (for the entire series).

4 recorded weeks behind us.

2 live weeks ahead.

​Click here to join.​